Lightning Fill In The Blank

Nov 18, 2017
Originally published on November 18, 2017 11:12 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and John have 3. Mo has 2.

SAGAL: All right. OK, Mo, you are in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the House passed the GOP's new blank bill, 227-205.

MO ROCCA: Tax.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a judge declared a mistrial in the corruption case of Senator blank.

ROCCA: Bob Menendez.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a report released on Thursday, Russian bots posted over 40,000 Twitter messages aimed at disrupting the U.K.'s vote on blank.

ROCCA: On Brexit.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a small group of House Democrats introduced five new articles of blank against President Trump.

ROCCA: Impeachment.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Tesla unveiled their new self-driving blank.

ROCCA: Car.

SAGAL: No. Semi-truck.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday, Amazon announced that it bought the rights to produce a televised adaptation of blank.

ROCCA: The thing that - "The Lord Of The Rings."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After his neighbors reported him to the police for having loud parties...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Even though he was on vacation, a German man discovered blank.

ROCCA: That his neighbors had taken over his house.

SAGAL: No. That his Alexa had gone rogue and was playing music at full volume in the middle of the night.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Man was on vacation. Police responded to a noise complaint at his house at 2:00 a.m. They were forced to break in. They discovered the deafening music was coming from the man's Amazon Echo, which had turned itself on without any command. Both the man and police were baffled as to how it happened, although it's possible that the digital assistant overheard some jerk on the radio saying, Alexa, play music at full volume.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Five right - 10 more points, total of 12. And Mo takes the lead.

SAGAL: All right. We've flipped a coin. John has elected to go next. So fill in the blank. This week Attorney General Jeff Sessions denied lying about contact with blank during the 2016 campaign.

JOHN HODGMAN: Russia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Australians voted overwhelmingly to support...

HODGMAN: Same-sex marriage.

SAGAL: Yes, but we generally allow me to finish.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HODGMAN: I want to win.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the military in blank said it had taken President Robert Mugabe into custody.

HODGMAN: Zimbabwe.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Last Thursday, a Texas man blanked at the Best Buy.

HODGMAN: Ate raw chicken.

SAGAL: No. Began lining up for Black Friday.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Thanks to updated blood pressure guidelines, almost half of Americans now suffer from blank.

HODGMAN: High blood pressure.

SAGAL: Yes, or hypertension.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, longtime gossip columnist blank passed away at the age of 94.

HODGMAN: Liz Smith.

SAGAL: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in Farmington, Utah started the petition...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...To drop the high school's mascot of the Phoenix because he was afraid that blank.

HODGMAN: Burning animals.

SAGAL: No. He was afraid that using the plural and saying the Farmington High Phoenices sounded too dirty.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Most people may not know that the plural of phoenix is phoenices, but a concerned resident in Utah knew that the word just made him feel vaguely uncomfortable.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He started the petition to change the mascot's name. It's garnered over 2,500 signatures. Don't worry, though. Regardless of what happens, we're confident that it won't be long before the phoenices rise from the asses.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes, Paula.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: My guess is that both Mo and John knew that the plural of phoenix was phoenices.

(LAUGHTER)

HODGMAN: I did not know, for the record.

POUNDSTONE: I bet you'd write a book about it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did John Hodgman do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got 5 right - 10 more points. But with previous points, he gets into the lead with 13.

SAGAL: All right.

POUNDSTONE: Go, John.

HODGMAN: Thank you.

SAGAL: How many then does Paula need to win?

KURTIS: Five to tie, 6 to win.

SAGAL: Here we go Paula. This is for the game. On Monday, it was revealed that WikiLeaks had repeatedly contacted blank with political advice.

POUNDSTONE: Donald Trump Jr.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite its uncertain future, enrollment in blank surpassed 1.5 million people this week.

POUNDSTONE: The Affordable Care Act.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a federal appeals court ruled that part of Trump's blank could take effect.

POUNDSTONE: Travel ban?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Trump administration announced it was lifting an Obama-era ban on importing blank trophies.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, you know, elephant heads and stuff.

SAGAL: Yeah, that sort of thing.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During the Buffalo Bills' 47-10 loss to the Saints this week, the total yardage gained by the Bills' running backs was exceeded by blank.

POUNDSTONE: A streaker.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A streaker ran on the field, got more yards than the entire Buffalo Bills team.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a painting by blank smashed auction records, selling for over $450 million.

POUNDSTONE: Munts (ph).

SAGAL: Munts (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, it was...

POUNDSTONE: It belonged to Leonardo DiCaprio, didn't it?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You were close. No, it was actually by Leonardo da Vinci.

POUNDSTONE: Oh. Jeez, I was so close.

SAGAL: You were.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: During a drug raid this week, two undercover cops in Detroit got in a tense...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Standoff with blank.

POUNDSTONE: With Ronald McDonald.

SAGAL: No. With two other undercover cops.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the Detroit Police Department, a pair of undercover cops were posing as drug dealers hoping to ensnare potential buyers. Instead, they were approached by two other undercover cops who demanded they get on the ground. Rather than comply, the cops got into a brawl, which distracted them long enough for the actual suspect to flee the scene.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The officers probably could have caught them, too, but while giving chase in their patrol car, they were pulled over by a third set of undercover cops for speeding.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Can I say that that streaker on the football field - that's what's called a rear-end run.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I don't know. I was trying.

SAGAL: You were, and we all appreciate it. Bill, did Paula do well enough to win?

KURTIS: We have a tie.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, for heaven's sake.

KURTIS: Paula and John each have 13.

POUNDSTONE: There you go.

SAGAL: That's exciting.

KURTIS: We welcomed the new guy.

(CROSSTALK)

HODGMAN: Wow. What an honor.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.