Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:13 pm
Fri January 31, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat February 1, 2014 1:51 pm

Transcript

CARL KASELL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Phoenix on February 13th and our first ever show in Kalamazoo Michigan on March 20th. And be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week Mike and Ian tell you how to keep your beer from freezing at the Super Bowl.

(LAUGHTER)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

AMY RICCO: Hi, I'm Amy Ricco from San Diego, California.

SAGAL: San Diego, paradise on earth.

RICCO: Yeah, yeah, say hello, everyone.

EVERYONE: Hello.

SAGAL: Hello.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Who is there with you?

RICCO: My best friend's mom and her husband Gary and their dog Lucy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Welcome to the show Amy et al. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks you'll be a winner. And special rules for you, you're allowed to ask for help but only from the dog.

EVERYONE: Arf.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

KASELL: First we pose like curmudgeons in wagons, then we move like we're bludgeoned with flagons. We run the scene thrice, says our roll of the dice, part yoga, part dungeons and...

RICCO: ...dragons?

SAGAL: Dungeons and Dragons, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A Brooklyn yogi has created Dungeons and Dragons Yoga. You're an elf or an ogre and your pose is accomplish things on a fantasy narrative as you do through the class. It's just the thing to get the guys who insist on being called Mikey the Slayer to exercise.

(LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: I think just a regular yoga class produces plenty of fantasy narratives.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Yoga pants have come a long ways.

SAGAL: They really have.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: The advantage of fluoride is truth-based, but those crazy sweet flavors seem two-faced. Chocolate and lime and vanilla and thyme, we've got brand new flavors of...

RICCO: ...toothpaste?

SAGAL: Yes, toothpaste. Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Responding to the demands of people who did not want to interrupt their steady intake of candy just to brush their teeth, Crest has unveiled a new toothpaste flavor, chocolate. Chocolate toothpaste.

(SOUNDBITE OF DISGUST)

SAGAL: This is for toothpaste users who are tired of the traditional mint flavors and for those whose teeth need Crest's patented advanced brownening.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: I've plucked more than nature allows, but the Groucho looks scary somehow. So I grab of the hair and replant it up there. I am aiming for big bushy...

RICCO: ...brows?

SAGAL: Yes, brows.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The latest trend in fashion is for models to have enormous hairy eyebrows. Super models like Kate Moss and Michael Dukakis have established this look on runways.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So rich and secure folk are now spending thousands to get eyebrow plugs implanted in their foreheads so they can have those big bushy eyebrows like the cool people do now while the rest of us are just growing our hair long and then doing the classical comb forward.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Amy had three correct answers so I'll be doing the voice on her voice machine or home answering machine.

SAGAL: Well done. Congratulations, Amy.

(APPLAUSE)

MO ROCCA: By Amy.

EVERYONE: Arf, arf, arf.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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