Peoria Public Radio Staff
Mon September 9, 2013
Sandwich Monday: The Burger King French Fry Burger
Originally published on Mon September 9, 2013 3:03 pm
The Burger King doesn't stay king by resting on his laurels. No, he stays king by constantly innovating (and by executing dissenters). New on the menu is the French Fry Burger, which is, you may have guessed, a burger topped with french fries. It costs $1, which should be considered a value and a red flag.
Peter: Since they're exactly $1 each, they can legally be used as currency.
Ian: And you can use actual dollars as napkins!
Mike: Dollar Menu is fast-food shorthand for "Day Old."
Miles: And "exciting new burger concept" is shorthand for "RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
Miles: The fries I can understand. I'm just not sure why they felt the need to put my drink under the bun, too.
Eva: I was hoping there'd be a kids meal toy in there, too.
Ian: Ooh! And a magical portal to another restaurant!
Robert: This is what comes of letting the guy who empties the Dumpster sit in on the product development meetings.
Peter: If we had let this just sit for a while, would the burger have birthed the french fries somehow?
Mike: This seems like the first sign of the Madness of King Burger.
Ian: I feel like they probably saw customers do this, and put it on the menu. Next in Customer Inspirations™, look for the burger you eat while crying in your car!
Eva: This seems like the sort of thing moms invent to get their kids to eat. Since when did we have to be persuaded to eat our burgers and fries?
[The verdict: It's burger plus fries, so really it's just a way to eat what you were already going to eat, only faster. The fries don't add much — really, they amount to nothing more than Bun Augmentation.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!